Friday, April 22, 2011

What's that on my shirt?

“Children are a black hole of need,” said my nearly famous uncle a few years ago after the first few months with his newborn. This is a man who’s booked throughout the year on five- and six-digit consulting engagements with businesses around the globe. He’s written books, been on best-seller lists, made appearances on famous TV shows and handled it all the way Paula Deen handles a stick of butter . . . effortlessly.

Johnson & Johnson was right . . . "A baby changes everything." Here is this high-powered, multi-tasking, semi-famous business consultant worn to a nub by a small person with a floppy head.

Who am I? I’m just a guy about as far from his level of competency as my mother is from learning how to use a universal remote. But as a father to a newborn, I share his sentiment. After just two weeks of helping my wife care for our second son, I am beat. Forget exercise. I’ve put on five pounds already. Clean clothes go from the dryer to the hamper to stay until they’re pilfered out for what passes as the next day’s wardrobe. My ten-year-old son is cooking frozen pizza for breakfast. We’re pooped.

Say, that reminds me, this new kid has an overactive colon. I don’t remember it looking as much like Dijon mustard as it does. Is that why they call it 'Poupon'?

We’ve gone through pack after pack of diapers. BTW, Huggies don’t work so well on my youngen, if by work I mean actually stop the waste from getting into his clothes. Did I already mention the laundry?

Too tired to cook, clean, exercise or sometimes even use proper hygiene, I am a living testament to my power-uncle’s statement. Be that as it may, I wouldn’t trade this experience for the world. I wear this spit up stain on my shirt like a badge. People see me and they know I barely slept last night and tiptoed out of the house this morning while the little guy was dreaming. But I love my new son, and I love this transition, and I love being a dad.

My wife and I are closer than we’ve been in years. My older kid is pitching in. Neighbors and family and church members are showering us with food and cards and visits and support. It’s been exhausting, but great at the same time.

Next time I post, I’ll let y’all see our birth announcement. For now, I’m too tired to link. I think I hear my baby crying.

No comments:

Post a Comment