Monday, January 30, 2012

Who’s ready for some football? We are, we are!

The other day I accidentally turned my bathroom radio to a sports channel. It’s an old radio, with one of those big round knobs you actually turn to find a station. It has a burn hole in it where I planted an incense cone years back. And the antenna’s broken, so landing on a station I’m actually looking for really is a delicate process. Sometimes I just find a place without static and stay for a while.

Which explains how I came to find out (this morning) about the big “Super Bowl” this weekend, though I'm honestly not sure who's actually playing.  As you might have guessed, I’m not much of a football fan.  When somebody asks if I’m gonna watch “The Big Game,” I usually don’t even know what sport we’re talking about.

My ignorance of sports is second only to my incompetence with technology. And without cable TV, my ineptitude in each area is pretty cinched up.

A chick poses with puzzling Y chromosome.
That’s okay. I’m secure in this. Plus, according to Ben, my football-loving boss, I’m predisposed to not like sports. He attributes it all to the Y-chromosome, or lack thereof. He suggested I imagine the ‘Y’ chromosome as a giant goalpost. Dudes have it; chicks don’t. For girls, we just have a big ‘X’ guarding the place where the love of sports would've gone. Sorry, guys, that spot is reserved for crying over hurtful things you might say to us when we’re hormonal. That, and cheerleading.

I saw a great article online today, attacking a newly formed theory that we girls might wanna “chick up” your annual guy fest, an occasion mysteriously revered by manly dudes across America. To that, we cry foul. Hey, guys, we know better than to mess with your Super Bowl man-party throw-down, just like you know not to buy us gym memberships for our anniversary. (You do know that, right?)

Among the ridiculous Super Bowl party ideas the theorists gave us: football charades, fashioning AstroTurf drink coasters, and watching the big game from a treadmill. A treadmill? I’m sorry, but other than the obvious athletic connection, I can’t see how anybody can reconcile cheap beer, crappy couch-potato snacks and actual exercise at a Super Bowl party. Even I’m not that dum. (Sigh, yes, I did mean to misspell it.)

However, we at can help you score some extra party points without fumbling with the crazy party games. We now offer magnetic, personalized Super Bowl party invitations. You can personalize your cards with all your party details – time, date, address, and which team you’re rooting for. Add the magnet backing, and send your cards out in plenty of time, and you’ll earn yourself a first-down in party planning. When your guests post their snazzy, magnetic party invitation on their fridge, they’ll have all the details of your big Super Bowl party throwdown in the pocket long before the pre-game beer kicks in. Touchdown,!

Now, whether your team wins or loses, that’s worth a rowdy cheer and a chest bump.

1 comment:

  1. We can't help our little shriveled up Y-chromosome. It is what it is...buuurp...pass the nachos.